I Heard It Through The Grapevine
by Dark Angel31
Summary: Rumors and gossip and revenge, oh my! McWeir...maybe a bit of Sheyla.
1. Gossip

It had happened. As Elizabeth Weir nervously peeked out of her office, she knew the thing she had dreaded most since the mission began had finally happened. The grapevine had taken hold of Atlantis. It took longer than she'd expected. When they'd first arrived in the Pegasus Galaxy everyone was just getting to know each other. They all wanted to make a good impression and were consequently on their best behavior. But time had passed, friendships had formed, and the city's residents had become comfortable with each other. Unfortunately, despite their new friends, the expedition members found that when they weren't studying Ancient technology or narrowly avoiding having the life sucked out of them by the Wraith, things got boring. And of course, the only cure for said boredom was gossip.

* * *

"I was wondering when they'd get together." 

"No way, it's not true. I still say she has a thing for Sheppard."

"Lt. Jerne _saw_ them!"

"Well Zelenka said a few days ago that McKay had a crush on someone…"

"I heard they've been dating for over a month and they've been hiding it from Sheppard. When finds out he's going to _kill _him."

Kate Heightmeyersat down with her lunch tray at a table full of scientists deep in discussion.

"Kate! Have you heard the latest?"

Now normally Kate wasn't one for gossip, but if there was a particularly juicy rumor she couldn't just ignore it. After all, it might have some psychological impact on the people involved, and it just wouldn't do for the city's shrink to not know what was going on with her patients.

Without waiting for a response, the bouncy scientist proceeded to explain how Dr. McKay had been caught with Teyla in the Ancient's version of a broom closet.

Two hours later Kate was in Elizabeth's office discussing official business of some sort when she brought up the rumor about Teyla and Rodney.

"THEY WERE DOING WHAT WHERE?" Unbeknownst to her, Dr. Weir's angry shouts could be heard by passersby, most of whom were able to infer the topic and come to their own conclusions about Elizabeth's screaming. If only she knew she was just adding fuel to the fire.

A moment later Elizabeth was rushing into the control room where Rodney was busy berating Technician #3.

"Rodney. My office. _Now._" She turned abruptly and stomped away expecting him to follow, which he did, reluctantly.

His exit was followed by knowing looks and a chorus of "There's gonna be trooouuuble" from Technician #s2-5.

Rodney walked to his boss's office confused. Elizabeth was pissed, and he could have sworn he just saw Kate Heightmeyer scampering off guiltily as he entered. Having spent the past few days offworld, he hadn't been privy to the latest gossip.

"Rodney, sit."

He did as he was told like a good little puppy...uh, scientist...where did that come from?

"So," Elizabeth began slowly, taking a deep breath to calm herself, "I heard about you and Teyla."

"Me and Teyla?" Rodney echoed, even more confused. Whatever he'd been expecting, this surely wasn't it.

"Look Rodney, I know that it's hard to be out here so far from home, and I understand that it gets lonely sometimes, and that like any human being you have…needs."

Rodney tried to cut her off, beginning to get uncomfortable. "Um, Lizabeth…"

"Rodney, _please_, just let me finish."

Rodney nodded in reply.

Elizabeth took another calming breath and pressed on.

"It's nice that you and Teyla have found each other, but you could be a little more _subtle_ about things. Really, a broom closet?" She began to get worked up again and rose from her chair. "Honestly Rodney, you aren't in junior high. And does the word 'discretion' mean _nothing_ to you? Seriously Rodney? _Seriously?_"

Rodney stood up as Elizabeth began to sound like an episode of Grey's Anatomy…of course Rodney knew nothing of the show that had premiered a few months after he left for Atlantis, which can be seen at 10:00 Sunday nights on ABC, but he knew he needed to stop his friend before she went any further.

"Lizabeth, not to be rude, but what the _hell_ are you talking about?"

"You and Teyla. You know…in a broom closet?" She watched a look of disbelief cross his face. "You don't know?" She gasped, "Oh no! This means…" She trailed off with a terrified look on her face.

"What is it?" Rodney questioned, beginning to worry.

"Grapevine. She answered as she nervously peered out of her office. "Atlantis's very own grapevine."

* * *

A/N: Ah, sorry this was so rushed. Also, I don't own Grey's Anatomy (I wish) or Atlantis and it's characters.

**Next Chapter:** Elizabeth explains the concept of the grapevine and contemplates the true cause of her anger, more rumors are spread, and plans are formed.

Oh, and just so you're warned, there may be some singing in the future hums I heard it through the grapevine Mwahahahaha!


	2. Kate Becomes a Main Character

I've been trying to update this for days now, but wouldn't let me upload it. But it's working now, so here goes...Oh, also, I changed the title to fit with the song. And for the record, I have nothing against Canadians hehe.

* * *

"Grapevine?" Asked Rodney, becoming more confused each minute, "What do grapes have to do with it? Do we even _have _grapes on Atlantis?" 

Elizabeth paused when she remembered who she was talking to. It stood to reason that he wasn't familiar with the term. Snarky Rodney McKay wasn't exactly known for his people skills. He was more likely to be found telling off his "inferior" coworkers than gossiping over the exploits of his peers. Plus, you know, he was Canadian. Not that there was anything wrong with that…

"It's a way of passing information; a rumor mill so to speak…you know, like in the song."

"Song?" Rodney asked innocently.

Elizabeth had no choice by to closer her eyes and belt out, "Ooh, I heard it through the grapevine."

She looked up to see Rodney doubled over in laughter.

"Well," she replied in mock anger, "I'm glad you find that so funny Rodney – or should I call you Mr. Teyla Emmagan?"

That shut him up.

"Lizabeth…something has to be done about this. It isn't true. I mean, Teyla's beautiful and all, but if Col. Sheppard found out about this…" he trailed off, not noticing the unconscious frown that had appeared on Elizabeth's face when he called Teyla beautiful.

Kate did notice it however, as she lurked outside Weir's office. After her hasty retreat earlier she'd run into Radek Zelenka. Literally. Kate turned a corner just as Zelenka came hurrying in the opposite direction and the two had collided knocking both to the ground. As the two dusted themselves off, Kate asked,

"Where are you headed in such a rush?"

"Sorry," He replied in his heavy Czech accent, "but I have got to find Dr. McKay. Have you seen him?"

"Yes, actually." She replied. "He's in Dr. Weir's office. She heard about him and Teyla and…let's just sat she's not exactly happy."

Zelenka sighed. "Poor Rodney…Dr. Weir AND Col. Sheppard on his case…all because of a stupid nonsensical rumor."

"What does Col. Sheppard…wait, _rumor_? You mean it isn't true?"

The scientist shook his head. "Of course not. Neither Rodney nor Teyla are remotely interested in a romantic relationship…at least not with each other."

Kate leaned forward in fascination. "Does that mean they're interested in _other_ people?"

"I don't really know Teyla well enough to speak for her, but as for Rodney...let us just say he could use a little push in the right direction."

When in was obvious she would get no further information on _that_ subject just now, she asked the question she'd been waiting to ask.

"And, just what does Col. Sheppard have to do with this?"

Zelenka sighed again, pitying his friend for all the trouble this was causing him.

"Well, Kavanagh thought it would be amusing to mention in the Col.'s presence that Rodney and Teyla had been, um, _together_ in the puddle jumper during their last mission. Needless to say Kavanagh ended up getting punched in the head. Granted, that might not have been entirely because of the rumor. Kavanagh_ is_ an asshole.

Kate giggled at this. True, she was supposed to try and sympathize with her patients – and yes, Kavanagh had been to see her (professionally) a couple of times – but to be completely honest, she thought the same of the scientist as everyone else. He really was an egotistical jerk. He really was just asking to be hit. Plus, he should have known better than to tell John about Rodney and Teyla. After all, hadn't she heard some where that John was secretly pining for Teyla? Might as well ask to avoid any more confusion–

"Sooo…John and Teyla," The psychologist began slyly, "are they a couple?"

But Zelenka refused to answer. "I will not be a part of spreading anymore rumors. Which reminds me, I had better go find Col. Sheppard and explain all of this to him."

He turned to go, but Kate stopped him to remind him of his original task.

"Wait! I thought you were looking for Dr. McKay."

"I _was_ going to go tell Rodney to watch out for Col. Sheppard, but if he is with Elizabeth, then I would not want to interrupt. I do not want to get involved in a lover's spat." With a wink, Zelenka walked away leaving Kate standing awkwardly standing in the middle of the corridor lost in silent musings.

The outside observer could almost see the gears churning in her head. Kate mentally reviewed the conversation she'd just had. John had feelings for Teyla. That wasn't much of a surprise. As for Rodney…did he have feelings for Elizabeth? Call it women's intuition, but something told Kate that Elizabeth had feelings for Rodney. But perceptive as the diplomat normally was, she didn't seem to notice.

Kate doubled back and arrived outside Elizabeth's office just in time to eavesdrop on the end of the conversation. It was like Zelenka said about Rodney, Kate observed as she saw Elizabeth frown at McKay's comment, Elizabeth just needed a little push; and who better for that job than a licensed shrink?

* * *

I have no idea how kate became a main character. It wasn't planned, it just...happened.

Thanks soo much to my reviewers: atlantian, tvnut127, LVB, MadCapSciFiWriter, Beth-TauriChick

Next Chapter: the shrink works her magic...get excited!


	3. Pushing

I hope you all enjoyed the April Fools chapter. Zelenka will always remain the Gossip Queen of New Orleans. Now, on to the real chapter 3…

* * *

A knock broke through the awkward silence that filled the room.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Kate walked in, having decided to put her evil plan into action immediately.

"Um no." said Rodney, pushing past her out the door. "I was just leaving."

Elizabeth watched Rodney leave the room before turning to Kate and motioning for the psychologist to sit down, though she herself remained standing.

"Back again so soon?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow. This was a habit she'd picked up in her ever-so-brief time as commander of the SGC. She'd seen Teal'c do it once and thought it was cool, which it was…on Teal'c. But I digress.

"I heard yelling. I just wanted to make sure Dr. McKay got out alive." Kate responded with a laugh.

Elizabeth keened against her desk and frowned. "I seem to recall you sitting in that same seat not long ago giving me a pretty good reason to yell at Dr. McKay."

Kate laughed again, nervously. "Right. Sorry about that. Turns out it was just a silly little rumor. But while we're on the subject," She countered in a sly tone, "why _did_ you yell at Dr. McKay?"

"Because," replied Elizabeth incredulously, "_Someone_ led me to believe that he and Teyla had been engaging in…inappropriate activity in a public place."

"True," said Kate, smiling "but didn't the same thing happen with Lt. Drydan and Dr. Feine?"

"Yes…and?"

"And did you get so upset with them? Or did you just give them your blessing and ask them to stay away from the briefing room after hours?"

This was true, Elizabeth reflected. Perhaps she _had_ overreacted a bit…but it was Rodney and Teyla, not some random people who weren't important enough to make it onscreen.

"I…I guess I _was_ a little hard on Rodney. But, he's my friend. I was just looking out for his best interests."

"Are you sure that's all it was?" Asked Kate, confusing Elizabeth even further.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you sure there wasn't something else that you're not admitting?" She paused as Elizabeth gave her a look that clearly asked 'what are you talking about?'

"Something neither one of you can admit give your working relationship?"

It was obvious from the blank look on Elizabeth's face that she was really going to need things spelt out for her. This was going to be harder than Kate thought.

"For crying out loud! I'm asking if you're in love with Rodney!"

Elizabeth blinked dumbly. In love with Rodney? Rodney McKay? Egotistical, self-centered, snarky, though secretly sensitive, not to mention caring and genius, and cute – wait, what? She shook her head to clear her thoughts. In love with Rodney? Preposterous!

Or was it? Rodney knew her better than anyone else on this expedition – maybe better than anyone on Earth. They'd gotten to know each other quite well during their late night talks on that balcony of theirs. He may seem like a jerk to most people, but as any McKay fan could tell you, his snark was just a defense mechanism. He was like a wounded puppy. He really was quite sweet deep down. Every time his team was late returning from a mission she always felt a pang of fear – fear for him much more than for his teammates. Plus, she had noticed lately that all that running around offworld was doing wonders for his body. He was actually getting quite fit. And that arse…

Ok, Elizabeth finally admitted to herself, maybe she did have feelings for Rodney, but it's not like she could act on them. It would be _vastly_ inappropriate, she decided.

Elizabeth's musings lasted a good ten minutes. By the time she looked up Kate had leaned back in her chair with her feet up on the desk with a nail file in her hand. She examined her fingernails and decided she was done grooming just as Elizabeth cleared her throat.

Kate sat up quickly, "Oh!" She exclaimed, "Done so soon?"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Dr. Heightmeyer, I appreciate all your concern, but as you said before, our working relationship would prevent me and Rodney from acting on any feelings that may – or may not – exist."

Kate stared at Elizabeth. "So what you're saying," she interpreted, "is that you love him but you can't – no, you _won't_ – do anything about it?"

Elizabeth looked down in silence.

"You're not even going to tell him?"

"I'd appreciate it if none of this left this room" was the only reply.

Kate just shook her head as she turned to leave.

"You're crazy." The shrink mumbled in parting. This was NOT how things were supposed to go.

* * *

Sorry it took so long to update. The bad thing about starting a fic over spring break is that break eventually ends. But, we're approaching the end of the year, so hopefully more frequent updates will be coming soon.

In the spirit of (sort-of) giving credit where credit is due, I stole a quote to pay homage to my first official ship. Ten points to anyone who can find the stolen quote and name the tv show, season, episode, speaker, person being spoken to, the tiny bit of the quote I left out because it didn't apply to Liz and Rodney, and the response.

Oh, and randomly, do we know if Cadman has the gene?

Random fact to make this A/N even longer: I heard THE SONG on the radio the other day. I don't know that I'd actually heard it all the way through before. I didn't even realize what it was until halfway through. I figured it was a sign to get my arse in gear and update the story.

Thanks: Beth-TauriChick, LVB (my new hero), tvnut127, mate, atlantian, Queen of darkness evilness and chaos, Cielito, fanwoman, sparklegem

Next chapter – Kate and Zelenka plot.


	4. Oops, In Which Checkett is Resurected

Zelenka was in the infirmary chatting with Dr. Beckett when Kate found them.

"…with a _CHAIR?"_

"Well you see, Laura has the gene too and she thought…" Beckett trailed off as he noticed Kate in the doorway.

"Perhaps I came at a bad time."

Beckett stood up quickly trying to cover his embarrassment. "Well you see…er…um…so what can I do for ye lass?"

Kate smirked. The grapevine would have a field day with this one.

"Actually I was looking for Dr. Zelenka."

"Oh?" Questioned the Czech.

"Yes…um, about that matter we were discussing earlier?"

"Do you mean about Dr. McKay and Dr. Weir, or Col. Sheppard and Teyla…or Dr. McKay and Teyla?" Asked Dr. Beckett curiously.

"Dr. McKay and Dr. Weir," was the response. "How did you know?"

"I'm Scottish, lass. We know everything.

"Right." Kate nodded incredulously before returning to the original topic. "Anyway, Dr. Zelenka, do you remember earlier when we were talking and you said Dr. McKay and Dr. Weir needed a little push?"

Zelenka frowned trying to recall. "When did I say that?"

"Oh no." Dr. Beckett said, slowly comprehending what Kate was trying to convey. "You spoke to them about it."

"Just Elizabeth." Kate defended, unsure how Dr. Beckett knew before she told him, her American pride not allowing her to believe that a foreigner could know more than her.

"Dr. Heightmeyer," Zelenka began. "I mean this in the nicest way, but ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR ---Czech Expletive Deleted--- MIND?"

"I was just trying to help!"

"Aye lass," began Beckett, "but the thing is that Dr. Weir and Dr. McKay aren't quite ready for that kind of help yet."

"But Dr. Zelenka said they needed a push."

Beckett glared at Zelenka, who shrugged guiltily. "A 'push' is a little too advanced. These two need to start off with a poke."

"Yes," agreed Zelenka, "I may have gotten a bit ahead of myself."

"Alright," sighed Kate. "So they need a poke, not a push. So how do we do that?"

Zelenka and Beckett exchanged a look.

"We have decided that it would be best to let them figure it out themselves," began Zelenka.

"We've been dropping a few hints now and then," continued Beckett, "but if they caught on they'd only continue to deny their feelings. So, we decided to back off."

"Well we can't just do nothing!" Kate exclaimed. "We need to get those two to admit that they're meant to be together."

"I don't like that look she has." Zelenka nudged Beckett as Kate continued.

"It'll be our mission. We can enlist Col. Sheppard's help – and Teyla's too. But we need a plan; something foolproof that they wouldn't see coming. We may need to call in an expert…"

Beckett and Zelenka could practically see the gears turning as Kate continued working out her evil plot. This was going to be a long week.

* * *

** Notes and Such:**

The April Fools chapter is now up as a seperate story.

Next chapter: The gang gets some much needed help from the experts.

Thanks Fanwoman, sparklegem, tvnut127, LVB, and Hananian.

Hananian wins a cookie for identifying the quote!


	5. A Three Pronged Plan

A/N: Ah the perks of being finished with high school. More time to write. Now if only I had a job. Enjoy!

* * *

Cheyenne Mountain Complex, Colorado, USA, Earth

* * *

The phone blared loudly, jerking Dr. Daniel Jackson back to reality and away from the artifact he'd been examining.

"Jackson." He answered, in that sexy voice of his.

"Sorry to bother you Dr. Jackson," one of the night technicians replied, "but we're receiving a transmission from Atlantis. Dr. Kate Heightmeyer requests your expertise on a rather sensitive matter."

Heightmeyer…she was a psychologist, wasn't she? Unless she'd suddenly developed a passion for old rocks, what could she possibly want his help with?

"Patch her through."

"Yes sir." And a moment later he was speaking with the shrink.

"Dr. Heightmeyer, I must admit I'm a bit surprised to hear from you. What exactly is it that I can help you with?"

"Well," she began, "I could use some…advice."

"Advice?" Daniel repeated, curiously.

"Yes." Kate hesitated before continuing. "It's personal advice. About Dr. Weir and Dr. McKay."

"Oh?" Daniel sighed as realization hit him. "Ohhh, _that_ kind of advice.

"Yes," Kate was relieved that he understood. "They're perfect for each other, but they won't admit it."

"And you've taken the roll of matchmaker."

"I guess you could put it like that. We know they belong together, we just don't know how to _get_ them together. I figured you could help since you've had experience with this."

Daniel had to agree. _How_ many years did it take Sam and Jack to get together?

"You said 'we'. Who else is with you on this?"

"Dr. Zelenka and Dr. Beckett."

"Ah yes, the Czech and the Brit."

"Actually he's Scottish." Kate mumbled before continuing. "So can you help us?"

"Hmmm," mused Daniel, "I think I have some ideas. This just may call for a three-pronged plan."

"A three-pronged plan?" Questioned Kate.

"Of course. Every brilliant plan is a three-pronged plan."

* * *

Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy

* * *

Night had fallen on Atlantis, and the city was dark. As most of the humans slept, a lone figure lurked in the shadows in an unused part of the city. Stealth was key, the woman thought to herself as she waited silently for her cohorts. A noise caught her attention – a thump, followed by a pained groan.

"Ow! Watch where yer going!" The newcomer's voice echoed in the darkness.

"Well perhaps if I could actually _see_, I would not be bumping into you!"

"Quiet children." The woman stepped forward until her outline was visible in the dull glow of the first man's dying flashlight. "We have business to attend to."

"I still do not understand why we must meet out her in the dark." The second man whined.

"Because," snapped the woman, "secrecy is top priority. If we're found out, it will ruin everything."

"I don't like it." countered the first man "So much deception…"

"It's for their own good," replied the woman as she handed each man a CD case containing an unlabeled disc. "Everything you need to know is on here. Alright boys, we have work to do."

The woman walked away.

"Wait!" The first man called after her as she faded into the shadows. "How do we know this is going to work?"

"It's a three-pronged plan," was the simple answer.

"A three-pronged plan?" questioned the second man.

"Why of course," replied the woman, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "Every brilliant plan is a three-pronged plan."

* * *

A/N: Does anyone know where the three-pronged plan comes from? I heard it somewhere but forgot where.

Next Chapter: Honestly I have no idea what's going to happen. Perhaps we'll see prong 1 in action.

And of course, thanks to my wonderful reviewers: Beth-TauriChick, Fanwoman, LVB, tvnut127, Reefgirl, Evil Drama Queen


	6. In Which The Plan Is Still Not Revealed

"Sooo, Katie, how's it going?" Drawled an annoying, nasal voice.

Kate, who had been staring intently at her coffee willing the caffeine to take effect looked up at the gate technician before her and faked a smile.

"Hi Stan."

"So, about our little agreement…"

Kate frowned. Last night she had been desperate to establish a wormhole to Earth without Elizabeth knowing; so desperate that she had agreed to go on a date with Stanley Silverman, the sleazy technician they'd brought in as a temporary replacement for the one that was currently in the infirmary recovering from a particularly nasty animal bite. Apparently in the Pegasus galaxy fluffy puppies happen to have three rows of razor sharp teeth that came complete with a strange venom that turned the skin around the wound bright green. Of course, no one realized this until _after_ a team had brought one back to study and the technician on duty had tried to pet it. He was expected to make a full recovery in a week's time, but until then they were stuck with Stan.

"So, like I was saying, I'm off duty tonight. I was thinking I could pick you up around seven. We can get a bite to eat and then…hehe, who knows?" Stan waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Seven. Yeah." Kate said with mock enthusiasm whilst simultaniously rolling her eyes at him.

Stan made no move to leave, perhaps expecting to be invited to sit, but luckily for Kate at that exact moment John entered for the sake of moving the plot along. As if on cue, Stan scampered away at the sight of a main character.

"Good morning Colonel Sheppard." She greeted as he approached. "Please, sit."

"Dr. Heightmeyer," John nodded, doing as he was told. "Dr. Beckett said you wanted to see me."

"Yes. Did he mention why?"

"No…listen, you're not going to try to analyze me or anything like that, are you? Because, no offense, but I'm not really into the whole brain shrinking thing."

Kate smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry Colonel. I have no interest in shrinking your brain." As if it could get any smaller, she added to herself. "Actually I have a proposition for you. Dr. McKay and Dr. Weir are both friends of yours, yes?"

"Yes." John nodded, unaware of where Kate was taking the conversation.

"And you want them both to be happy, right?"

"Of course I want them to be happy." John didn't like it when people danced around an issue. "What's your point?"

"My point John – may I call you John?" She continued without waiting for a response, "Is that Rodney and Elizabeth – your friends – are not happy."

"They're not?"

"No. You see they're in love with each other."

John's mouth dropped open and he stared at her dumbly.

"Don't look so surprised. Surely you noticed some chemistry between them?"

"Well…" John thought about it, "Maybe. No. I don't know…"

"Well I do know. The problem is that _they_ don't. Or at least they won't admit to it."

"Hold on, if they won't admit it, then how can you be sure they feel anything for each other at all? How do you know this isn't just another rumor?"

"Trust me, it's not a rumor," Kate grinned slyly. "At least not yet."

"What's that supposed to mean?" John was utterly confused.

Kate reached out and pulled a laptop out of a case resting on the seat beside her. The computer was already on, and as Kate began clicking on the appropriate icons the CD drive whirred to life, as if purring in agreement with Kate's plan. When the program had loaded she turned the computer away from her and moved to stand behind John. Leaning over him, she guided him through her intended course of action.

Once he understood what was going on, John looked up at Kate. "Are you sure this is going to work?"

Kate nodded, oozing overconfidence. "Trust me, it'll work. A three pronged plan never fails."

"Are you sure about that?"

Honestly she wasn't, but she wasn't about to admit that. "Of course I'm sure. I know what I'm doing."

For the sake of all our characters, we can only hope.

* * *

Yes, I know, this took forever. But truthfully I wrote everything but the very end at the beginning of the summer and couldn't come up with a way to end it until today. But I did spend a good deal of the summer coming up with ideas for the story whenever work got boring (which frankly was quite often). 

Anyway, gracias to my reviewers, Beth-TauriChick, MEPutney (If all else fails...), tvnut127, LVB, mate, Fanwoman (in my world they don't care about regulations), and dahan (hm maybe I should take advantage of the account I have there)

Next chapter: a prong and a date. Review!


	7. Prong the First

"Yeah, and Col. Sheppard got all jealous."

"I heard he won't speak to anyone."

"Yeah, it's pretty bad."

Carson shook his head as he listened to three of his nurses still gossiping over the supposed Rodney/Teyla/John love triangle. The doctor chuckled inwardly as he made his way over to them. This was going to be easy.

"Yeh know, it's not just Col. Sheppard sufferin' after those nasty rumors." The nurses looked down guiltily as Carson continued. "This is hurtin' Dr. McKay and Dr. Weir's relationship as well."

Shelly, the head nurse, snapped her head up to stare at Dr. Beckett. "Dr. Weir?"

"Aye," nodded the Scot, "yeh didn't know?" And he turned and walked out of the infirmary without elaborating. Shelly would make up her own story and Curtis and Rayleen, the other nurses present, would have the duty of spreading it through the city. The grapevine would come alive tonight.

* * *

Kate grimaced at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She looked good. Too good. Now, you may think she was being narcissistic, vain, self-obsessed, but she wasn't (too much). Tonight was her date with Stan Silverman, repaying the sleazy technician for helping her get in touch with Daniel. Kate was dreading it with every fiber of her being. Which brings us back to her apparent vanity. The last thing Kate wanted was to look good for Stan. She hadn't dressed up of course – she was still had on the same uniform she'd worn during the work day. Still not satisfied with her appearance, she washed off the little makeup she had on. She was still far from repulsive, she acknowledged as she examined herself once more, but there wasn't much more she could do about it without making her goal too obvious.

The sound of the Ancient doorbell alerted her to the time. Kate crossed the room and opened the door. Standing before her in jeans and a button-down shirt, greasy hair slicked back, looking quite smug, was Stan.

"Hey Katie. Damn! You look hot." He licked a finger and pressed it to his chest making a sizzling sound. "Smoking."

Kate's eyes widened and she found it difficult to hide her repulsion.

"So baby, are you ready for our night of romance?"

Kate swallowed back the bile that was rising in her throat and bravely nodded, following Stan out the door. When they reached the commissary, Stan put his arm around Kate, who promptly shrugged it off. She hated to think of all the people who would be watching as she suffered through dinner with this sleaze-ball. Then again, it was better to be humiliated in public than to be alone with the man. And so Kate tried her best to ignore the stares (because at your most embarrassed, everyone's watching) as they filled their trays and sat down together in a secluded back corner of the room that was unofficially reserved for romantic encounters.

Overall the date wasn't quite so utterly and completely horrible as Kate had imagined. She was able to zone out as he complained about the other technicians, she amused herself using her fork to scratch "HELP ME" and a stick figure wearing a necklace that looked curiously like a noose in a flattened out pile of mashed potatoes as Stan babbled on about his grievances with the way Atlantis was run, and as he bragged about all the women who adored him back on Earth (Kate highly doubted this), she caught a bit of conversation from a nearby table. Apparently Dr. Weir had gotten quite emotional when she heard the rumor about Dr. McKay and Teyla. As it turned out, Kate overheard as she and Stan passed a small crowd of chemists as they returned their trays and left the commissary, Dr. Weir and Dr. McKay had been having a secret affair for at least a month – the only reason no one knew was because, of course, they were very good at hiding it.

Kate's spirits lifted on the way back to her room – so much so that she didn't even feel the need to vomit when Stan tried to gain admittance. She nearly laughed as the door shut on her date, who had closed his eyes and was leaning in for a kiss. The grapevine was working, and all over the base people were talking about Elizabeth and Rodney's "relationship".

Phase 1 Complete.


End file.
